One of my favorite things about Quarantine has been the upsurge of self-love. For many of us, not being able to leave our homes has helped us to self-reflect. 

We’re thinking about life before quarantine, the structures we’ve restricted ourselves to, and the things we wish we would’ve done more of, sooner. 

In alignment with the world’s most recent events, many are calling this 2020 vision

But just like the world, we also have a lot of healing and unlearning to do

We no longer want to hold back, deprive ourselves of what we deserve, or live a life of complacency.

As a result, we’re doing the inner work to protect our peace, and reach our fullest potential. 

and we know that begins with loving ourselves first.

So, in light of this new understanding of the world, here are some daily things I’m working on that you may want to work on too: 

1. Commit to Yourself

One of the best ways to show up for yourself is to be disciplined and consistent about your goals.

Whether it’s working out, saving money, pursuing a passion, or starting something new, you have to love yourself enough to commit to your future. 

However, this is a lot easier said than done. For example, although I planned to be as productive as possible this Summer,

I found I was easily distracted, discouraged, and, at times, falling into a slump.

Suddenly months passed by, my to-do list became longer, and I hadn’t made any of the progress I promised myself.

In turn, I began to feel like a failure, like I wasted my time, and like I’m not good enough. And it was this that made me realize that sometimes we’re our own worst enemy. 

 So, in order to avoid the regret of falling behind, commit to putting yourself ahead. This could mean:

  • Waking up early to work on your business
  • Committing to a daily routine
  • Time-blocking out your days
  • Doing your skincare routine religiously
  • Working out at least an hour/day for your dream body 
  • Saying no to junk food and making healthier choices
  • Saying no to spending money on unnecessary things 
  • Being consistent with a creative passion

It’s through consistency and effort that we begin to see the results we want, and it’s through that progress that we realize what we’re capable of.

The more self-disciplined you are, the stronger you become, and the more confident and successful you will be in the future. 

2. Take Yourself Seriously

Speaking of confidence, one of my biggest downfalls has always been a lack of it in my own abilities. It’s so easy to feel like you aren’t good enough or don’t have what it takes. 

But like I said in a recent post about following your dreams, your skills, perspectives, and abilities are what make you, you.

They are not dumb, obvious, or unattainable, and there is nothing wrong with who you are, or who you want to be.

So whether it be in class, work, or pursuing your dreams, believe in yourself enough to be unapologetic about who you are. 

Let it shape how you move through the world and allow yourself to take up as much space as you need. 

This can also look like:

  • Taking on leadership positions
  • Voicing your perspectives/arguments aloud 
  • Taking authority over a specific subject
  • Pursuing a passion 

When you don’t take yourself seriously, you don’t do your best, and lose out on opportunities to learn and grow.

But when you show up as you are, and believe you deserve it, others believe it too

3. Speak up for Yourself

We’ve all, at some point, second guessed our own emotions. It may be because we fear confrontation, being overbearing or looking stupid.

But part of taking yourself seriously is taking your thoughts and emotions seriously as well.

There have been so many times where I’ve been gaslit into feeling like I’m overreacting. But it’s so important to understand that certain emotions are triggered for a reason.

Of course, this doesn’t mean to go blow up someone’s truck because you’re upset or frustrated.

But don’t be afraid to speak up about the things that are bothering you or may seem unconventional.

This means voicing your perspectives in professional situations, and defending yourself in personal ones.

You are never wrong for feeling the things you feel, and your perspective might offer more insight than you know.

If you’ve misunderstood something, speaking up at least gives you the space to learn and grow, but if you don’t, you’re only risking your own self-worth and comfortability.

Love yourself enough to make your beliefs, ideas, and emotions a big deal, because it’s through speaking up that you get what you want and the acknowledgement you deserve.

4. Stop Overthinking Everything

Another way to show up for yourself is to stop overthinking every single thing you do.

Yes, I’m talking to you.

Actually, I’m talking to the both of us.

If you’re anything like me, you might criticize every single move you make.

From the decisions you make, to your interactions with others, you might wonder if it’s dumb, too much, or not enough.

While it’s important to have a level of social and personal awareness, remember that sometimes it’s okay to just be.

Stop waiting for the perfect moments, trust your instincts, and live for what’s happening now.

5. Stop Being So Hard on Yourseslf

Self-forgiveness can be a daily struggle. As a self-proclaimed perfectionist, I often get upset at myself for feeling uninspired, failing to reach a milestone, or not knowing something sooner.

But the truth is, we’re just not going to get it right every single time, and it’s unrealistic to expect ourselves too.

So make room for those small mistakes, and give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes, it’s okay to cut yourself some slack when you fall short on your promises to yourself. 

When you expect yourself to be perfect, you never feel good enough, which in turn drains you and ruins your self-esteem.

But when you forgive yourself, and remind yourself that you’re only human, you’re able to move forward, and try again. 

Show up for yourself by giving yourself the same forgiveness and compassion you give others, because I promise no one else is critiquing you the same way you’re critiquing yourself.

6. Let Yourself Feel Everything

One thing we’ve all had to do during quarantine is sit in our emotions. For me, so much happened before quarantine,

like a friendship break up and a post-grad crisis, that when we went into lockdown,

I was forced to just feel the emotions I was experiencing.

This meant several waves of nostalgia, anger and sadness, and feelings of failure. But overtime, I noticed those wounds stopped hurting as much. Instead, I began to heal and figure it out.

From this, I learned that sitting in your negative thoughts and feelings is a form of self-care.

You don’t have to force yourself to be positive all the time, in fact, it’s not healthy to detach yourself from your deeper emotions.

Instead, talk about them if you have to, write them down or channel them into your craft.

Listen to your mind and body, and work through your emotions as they come.

These could be:

  • Moments of sadness that appear throughout the day
  • Flashbacks/memories from past experiences/relationships
  • Nostalgia
  • Feelings of failure or defeat/ not feeling good enough
  • Frustration 
  • Feeling tired
  • Feeling anxious or stressed

It’s a daily process to heal from the things that are hurting you, big or small.

But the more you deal with it, the more you make sense of it, and the better you will be for it in the long run.

7. Stick to Your Boundaries

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know I’m all about choosing yourself first. In fact, I talk about it in this post about loving yourself, and this post about things I wish I knew at 18

However, I haven’t always been this way. In fact, I used to spend a lot of time putting others before myself and taking on others’ problems as my own. 

It took getting walked all over and failed relationships before I realized my worth. 

With that, I learned that showing up for yourself means choosing your peace before anything else.

While I’ve talked about this in toxic situations, this means in your daily interactions as well.

This could also look like:

  • Taking time away from others/your phone/social media
  • Not answering phone calls/listening to others problems when you’re dealing with things yourself
  • Saying no simply because you don’t have the energy or don’t feel like it
  • Not surrounding yourself around things/people who drain you

You are not obligated to take on others problems, trauma, or extra work. And you don’t have to overextend yourself to do things you simply just do not want to do.

Of course, you don’t have to neglect people who might need your support, but otherwise, set a boundary when you don’t have the capacity, and only take on what you feel like you can handle.

As much as you may feel the urge to give everything you have to other people, you can’t truly do that until you’ve taken care of yourself.

8. Stop Caring what People Think

One of the hardest things to do is to not care what other people think. Especially when social media has conditioned us to.

However, constantly seeking others approval, only robs us of the ability to be ourselves.

For example, as a blogger/influencer, putting myself out there in front of everyone I know, has at times made me feel self-conscious.

Sometimes it’s gotten to the point where I’ve held myself back or didn’t post what I wanted because I felt so embarrassed.

But what I’ve had to realize, is that the opinions of others don’t define me, I define myself.

And when I don’t go after what I want, the only person who has to deal with the consequences, is me.

So if you’re reading this, put yourself out there, and pursue your dreams and yourself wholeheartedly. This can look like:

  • following a passion
  • Posting what you want
  • Wearing things that make you feel good 
  • Making decisions based on what you want and not what others think you should do 
  • Trusting yourself and your instincts
  • Standing up for things/causes/injustices people you know may not agree with 

As long as you love who you are, and what you’re doing, no one else’s opinion should matter.

People will judge you and forget about it later, but when you love yourself enough to walk in your purpose, and make the daily commitment to be who you are, everything else will fall into place.

9. Celebrate Yourself

If you haven’t noticed, everything I’ve mentioned has been about how you view yourself. But in order for these things to work, you have to love yourself for who you are now.

As I’ve worked on committing to myself, taking myself seriously, and forgiving myself for what I’m not, I’ve realized these things come easier when I believe I deserve  the peace and success I desire.

This has meant knowing I’m not perfect, but choosing to focus on my strengths, and replacing any negative thoughts about myself with positive reminders.

When you accept who you are, you know what you offer, and believe that you and your dreams are worth it.

And when you believe that you’re worth it, you commit to the daily steps that help you become the best version of yourself.

So chant in the mirror, do your affirmations, and remember that you’ve made it this far. Keeping a growth mindset is a daily process, but it starts with celebrating you first.

This year has been rough for all of us, but if it’s taught me anything, it’s that life is short and unpredictable.

When our world transformed in moments, what it showed is that reality is malleable– we can shape it, mold it, and form it into whatever we want, and we don’t need anyone’s permission to do so.

So I’m committing to no longer holding back, and taking the daily strides to be all I can.

Because while we can’t do anything about the past, or the present for that matter, we can commit to our growth in the future. 

 

With love,

Sabria Sparrow